


Before I Die

by myownquerencia



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Bobby is his first responder, Car Accidents, Firefighters, First Meetings, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Junhoe is in a car accident, Light Angst, M/M, i miss them, idk if this makes any sense lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23163889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myownquerencia/pseuds/myownquerencia
Summary: Junhoe can't remember what lead him to where he is now. All he could think about was the pain shooting through his cold and bloody body.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Before I Die

Pain. Confusion. Cold. Those were all prevalent in Junhoe’s mind as he laid on his stomach, his head against his left upper arm. The position could almost be described as relaxed, one someone could sleep in, if it wasn’t for the car pining him to the ground.

  
It was a cold evening. The ice that had frozen over the day prior still hadn’t melted making the roads more dangerous than usual. Junhoe can’t remember what lead him to where he is now. All he can remember is the sudden jerking and tossing of his vehicle. Now, all he could think about was the pain shooting through his cold and bloody body.

  
The ambulance was there quickly. That’s what Junhoe thought. Unless his perception of time had been skewed.

  
Footsteps sounded all around him. He could hear movement and voices behind him.

  
But, when he tried to move he was stopped by the crushed roof of the car pushing against his scalp, causing a new wave of pain to occur.

  
“Hey, don’t move sir. We’re going to get you out of here ok.”

  
Junhoe wasn’t expecting a voice to sound so clearly next to him. He thought for a second that he was hallucinating but once he was able to turn his head back to its original position, he saw the source.

  
A man, around his age it seemed, was kneeling on the road next to him. Junhoe noticed the bright red and yellow on the his jacket. He must be a fireman, he thought.

  
“Sir,” the man started, tilting his head to get a better view of Junhoe, “I need you to stay awake ok?”

  
Junhoe began to nod, but then stopped himself when he remembered how close the roof of his car is to his head.

  
“Ok, sir?”

  
Junhoe took a second to compose himself and then responded with a hoarse “Ok.”

  
“We’re waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Once they’re here we’ll work on getting you out safely ok?”

  
The fireman waited patiently for Junhoe to respond. This time, it took less time for him to say a quick but effective “Got it.”

  
The fireman shifted his position once more, trying to make sure the man in the car could see him as clearly as possible.

  
“What hurts, sir?”

  
Junhoe didn’t need any time to think about that. His left arm laid next to his body, the seatbelt holding it firmly trapped against the bottom of the shattered windshield and the car seat. Both his legs were bent and squeezed between crushed metal.

  
“Arms, shoulder, legs, and head.”

  
Junhoe couldn’t even begin to imagine what state his car was in. It was obvious that it had flipped, but how many times he couldn’t be sure.

  
“Where were you heading, sir?”

  
Junhoe strained to remember what he was doing before this moment. The simple question was harder to answer than he had thought.

  
“I was coming home from work.” Junhoe paused, then noticed the fireman nod encouragingly. It took him a second to realize that he should keep going. “My dad had called me to ask if I could come over for dinner tomorrow. So-“ Junhoe cut himself off, but this time didn’t need the fireman’s encouragement to continue. “So, I was going to the store to buy some dessert to bring with me.”  
The fireman didn’t give Junhoe time to think before asking another question.

  
“Where do you work?”

  
But Junhoe was taking longer to respond this time. He had heard the question being asked, but he couldn’t even seem to process it for a second. He tried to think of an answer but before he knew it everything muddled and it was like the question had never been asked.

  
The fireman noticed the distance in the man’s eyes and quickly tried to keep the man talking.

  
“Hey! Hey!” The fireman raised his voice slightly, catching the man’s attention.

  
“What’s your name?”

  
Junhoe looked at the fireman. Simple. Easy. He thought. An easy question that a kid could answer.

  
“Junhoe.”

  
The fireman smiled slightly, trying not to show his relief too much.

  
“Okay Junhoe, I need you to keep talking to me.”

  
Junhoe complied.

The fireman asked a lot of questions, and Junhoe did his best to answer them all. He found that it was easier to stay involved if he looked the fireman straight in the eyes. Before he would let his eyes wander and look at what he could see of the wreckage encasing him. This would only lead to an overwhelming about of dread and the reminder of the pain he felt throughout his body.

  
But by looking at the fireman he was forced to always know what he was saying. Only focusing on the person in front of him.

  
Junhoe didn’t realize when the ambulance arrived but he did notice when a lady in blue scrubs kneeled next to the firefighter.

  
She shook hands with the firefighter and introduced herself but Junhoe didn’t pay attention to any of it. He was too preoccupied thinking about how she cut off the fireman’s question about his family.  
The doctor asked questions. But they were different to the ones he was used to. These questions were medical and most of them he didn’t know the answer to. The fireman had moved out of sight, so Junhoe could no longer use him to stay focused. He knew he was drifting off again but he couldn’t help it.

  
“Junhoe!”

  
Junhoe blinked. The fireman was back. Concern could be seen on his face. The doctor was still there but Junhoe didn’t even realize.

  
The fireman brought an extra jacket with him this time and handed it over to the doctor. A shiver ran through Junhoe. He must’ve forgotten that it was cold. But now, seeing every breath the fireman took made him realize two things: It’s cold, and it’s night.

  
How long had he been stuck here, Junhoe wondered.

  
The doctor began to ask the same questions again. This time Junhoe worked harder to remember or at least guess the answers to each. The fireman didn’t leave once this time, making it easier.  
Junhoe eventually noticed the subtle ways the fireman was trying to keep warm. He kept rubbing his hands together then up and down his arms.

  
“You should get a jacket.”

  
The fireman seemed startled by Junhoe’s strained voice.

  
“No, I’m fine.” He said sternly, further proving it my removing his hands from his arms. “You must be cold, though.”

  
Junhoe honestly had stopped thinking about the cold shortly after he noticed it. He could no longer feel the cold metal against his right arm. His leg no longer hurt whenever he slightly moved it. Although, Junhoe realized, that’s probably because he hadn’t attempted to move it for a while.

  
A bright light suddenly hitting his face caused Junhoe to wince and close his eyes.

  
“Hey! Don’t shine that right in his face!”

  
The fireman yelled, and the light quickly shifted so it wasn’t hitting Junhoe’s eyes as harshly as before. However, Junhoe found it harder than ever before to open his eyes back up.  
“Junhoe... Junhoe!”

  
Junhoe grimaced slightly and slowly opened his eyes. He was still squinting because of the light.

  
The fireman had crawled closer to him. It was easier to see his face from here, Junhoe noticed. He had taken off his hat at some point, showing his dark brown hair that was slicked back. Most likely from repeatedly running his hands through it, Junhoe figured.

  
“Hey,” the fireman sighed, looking more concerned than Junhoe thought he originally was. “You just gotta hold on a bit longer ok? We’ve almost got you out of here. Then you’ll go to the hospital.”  
Oh yeah, Junhoe thought, the hospital. Somehow throughout this entire incident, Junhoe had forgot that he still had to go to the hospital.

  
He thought of all the movies and TV shows he had watched that had people being put on stretchers and rushed into the E.R. Now, he wondered how long each of them had been waiting.

  
Junhoe imagined the shot of all the doctors looking down at the camera, putting the watcher in the point of view of a patient. Or the shot of the hospital ceiling in motion, lights passing by in a flash. He wondered if it’d look different for him.

  
Junhoe was pulled away from his thoughts because of a feeling overtaking his entire body. The sudden release of pressure shocked him. The first thing he noticed was that he could move his head. There wasn’t anymore metal scratching against his scalp. He wasn’t able to physically smile, but he was relieved.

  
Junhoe knew that this meant he would be on his way to the hospital soon. If all those medical shows he watched taught him anything, it was that once you released pressure you had to work fast to prevent further bleeding... or something like that.

  
“You’ll be on your way real soon Junhoe.”

  
Junhoe looked back at the fireman, finally able to turn his head and look at him head on. The fireman threw on a supportive smile that would’ve brought Junhoe actual joy a few mere seconds before.  
But Junhoe couldn’t think about how the fireman’s eyes scrunched up when he smiled. Or how his two front teeth stuck out slightly. Junhoe couldn’t think about how cute the fireman infront of him was because Junhoe was about to leave. And the fireman wasn’t going to come with him.

  
The fireman had talked him through what felt like hours of pain. He helped Junhoe stay awake and focus on the things in life that brought him joy, like his family. The fireman had helped him so much and Junhoe didn’t even know his name.

  
Junhoe knew nothing about the fireman and he severely wanted to.

  
“What’s,” Junhoe paused to cough, the fireman leaned in further.

  
“What’s your name?”

  
The fireman’s eyes widened slightly. “Bobby,” he responded after a quick second.

  
“Bobby.” Junhoe quietly repeated. The fireman’s name is Bobby.

  
The firema- Bobby was about to say something but Junhoe cut him off.

  
“Stay.”

  
Bobby was stoic.

  
“What?” He asked.

  
“Stay please.” Junhoe said, beginning to plead.

  
“I’m not going anywhere Junhoe.” Bobby replied sternly. “You’re almost out of here.”

  
“No,” Junhoe closed his eyes, “please Bobby. Please don’t leave.” Junhoe’s voice came out hoarse and choked up.

  
“I-“ Bobby started, but stopped.

  
At the same time, Junhoe felt something warm along his scalp. Weird, he thought, there had been nothing warm for hours.

  
Then he felt the liquid roll down past his eye until it dripped off of his nose.

  
It was blood, Junhoe realized. Had he been bleeding before? He wasn’t sure.

  
Suddenly, he felt hands on him. He was being dragged away from the rubble. He looked down at his legs and was surprised to see them completely free from the crushed car. He hadn’t even felt when the pressure was released. As Junhoe looked at his legs being slightly dragged against the asphalt road, he noticed that he couldn’t feel them now either.

  
Junhoe was lifted into a stretcher. He turned his head to see Bobby nearby, staring at him.

  
Please. Junhoe pleaded mentally. Please don’t leave me alone.

  
Maybe it was in Junhoe’s eyes. Maybe it was the look on his face. Either way, Bobby seemed to get the message because suddenly he was climbing into the awaiting ambulance, announcing a stern “I’m going with him” to the staff inside.

  
Junhoe couldn’t make out much while laying in the ambulance. Something was being pressed against his head. The paramedic wouldn’t let him turn his head or take off the oxygen mask. He tried his best to find Bobby through his peripheral vision but was having a hard time.

  
Junhoe’s cold hands twitched and slowly opened up, hoping for some sort of reassurance.

  
Luckily for Junhoe, an equally cold hand encased his.

  
Bobby moved into Junhoe’s view and began to rub circles into the palm of his hand.

  
Junhoe wanted to speak. He wanted to thank Bobby for staying like he asked.

  
Shakily, Junhoe moved his hand up to remove the oxygen mask. The paramedic looked at him and Junhoe responded with a pleading look.

  
Junhoe slowly peeled the mask from his face and looked at Bobby.

  
“Thank you,” Junhoe croaked.

  
“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” Bobby responded. “Just keep fighting ok? You’re doing great and you’re gonna be fine.”

  
Junhoe couldn’t help but notice how Bobby continued to keep the attention on him. But Junhoe was interested in Bobby.

  
“What’s your family like?” Junhoe asked.

  
Bobby almost asked why Junhoe was asking. But a glance at Junhoe’s hand clutching his own reminded him.

  
“I have a brother, an older one,” Bobby started, urging Junhoe to put the oxygen mask back on while he talked, “he just had a baby boy.”

  
Junhoe smiled. He somehow just knew that Bobby was great with kids.

  
Bobby stopped. He couldn’t find the words to continue when he saw Junhoe smile for the first time. It was the kind of smile that made you stop in your tracks, the kind of smile people would work to see.

  
“Y-yeah um, they live in the states so I don’t see them too often. But, I’ll visit them in a few months which is great.”

  
Junhoe gave a very slight nod as an act of encouragement. He had decided that he loves hearing Bobby talk.

  
A sudden jerking told Junhoe that the ambulance had stopped. This was the moment he dreaded. The doctors or nurses or surgeons were about to take him away and he couldn’t expect Bobby to follow him.

  
Before Bobby could be pulled aside, Junhoe grabbed his hand.

  
“Thank you.” Junhoe said, watching as the people in blue scrubs began to surround him.

  
“I always wanted to fall in love before I die.”

  
Then Bobby’s hand was let go. He watched as Junhoe, the beautiful young man who loves eating chicken with his family and always annoyed his older sister by singing was rushed away, and the emergency room doors closed behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wrote this months ago why do i wait so long
> 
> anyways, i still miss hanbin where is my baby bring him back


End file.
